


Can I love you?

by tooweird2live



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 00 line mentioned, Alpha Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Alpha Mark Lee (NCT), Alpha Na Jaemin, Alpha Suh Youngho | Johnny, Alpha Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Basketball Player Mark Lee (NCT), Cute Mark Lee (NCT), Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan-centric, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) is Whipped, Nerd Mark Lee (NCT), Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Huang Ren Jun, Omega Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Omega Lee Jeno, Sassy Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Soft Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, not explicit tho, other members are only mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:02:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23234437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tooweird2live/pseuds/tooweird2live
Summary: Donghyuck doesn’t hate alphas. He really doesn’t. He thinks most of them are assholes, who can only think with their dicks and are way more trouble than they’re worth. He thinks they are the source of many of society’s injustices and yet, the ones benefited by the system. But Donghyuck doesn’t he hate alphas. He just doesn’t trust them.Donghyuck has a problem, though. He has a gigantic crush on Mark, an alpha.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 39
Kudos: 665
Collections: Markhyuck, My Favorite Fics





	1. Can I?

**Author's Note:**

> So, regarding the warnings: rape is only mentioned briefly, it´s not explicit. I also want to say that I´ve never suffered such a thing myself, so I´m sorry if my portrayal of the events or its aftereffects is bad. I don´t mean to undermine anyone´s experiences or beliefs. There is also a brief description of a panic attack, so have that in mind.
> 
> Also, it´s kind of obvious but I´m going to say it anyway: dreamies smut. They´re both in college in the fic, dw. Don´t like, don´t read. 
> 
> If it´s rushed or whatever, sorry, I wrote this in a spurt of inspiration. I hope you enjoy it, anyways!

Donghyuck doesn’t hate alphas. He really doesn’t. He thinks most of them are assholes, who can only think with their dicks and are way more trouble than they’re worth. He thinks they are the source of many of society’s injustices and yet, the ones benefited by the system. But Donghyuck doesn’t he hate alphas. He just doesn’t trust them. And his inner omega agrees with him.

How can he trust alphas, when they’ve hurt him so much? How can he trust them when a fucking alpha _policeman_ , the one who’s supposed to _protect_ him and search for justice, _raped_ him? How can he trust alphas after everything they’ve taken away from him?

That’s why he makes a point in defending every omega and beta at school in need of help. His omega friends tell him he’s brave for standing up for himself and all the ones who can’t do it themselves. His beta friends say he’s strong for not letting his subgender determine his behavior, personality and convictions. His alpha friends...well, he only has one alpha friend, and they’ve known each other since they were children, so Jaemin’s not really considered the usual alpha in Donghyuck’s book. Point is, alphas in general think he’s too sensitive to their jokes, too whiny considering all the rights omegas have already gotten, too loud with his ideas, too unworthy of respect, too smart and un-submissive for an omega.

But Donghyuck puts all those useless comments inside a folder in his head titled “alpha bullshit”. Maybe he’ll consider their words when they start thinking before saying them. Or when they stop spitting so much trash.

So, when Jeno asks him to hang out with him and a couple of his basketball friends, Donghyuck doubts. He already knows Johnny and Jaehyun, and they’re nice enough and keep their distance, which is good. But he doesn’t know anything about the other alpha Jeno is taking about. It’s not that he doesn’t trust Jeno’s judgement, he just doesn’t trust alphas - especially the sporty, jock type.

“Come on, Hyuck. I’m telling you it’s only gonna be Jaehyun, Johnny and Mark,” Jeno says. “Mark’s pretty cool, too.”

“Lee Jeno, please tell me you’re not crushing on alpha other than Jaemin,” Donghyuck answers in a mock-scolding way. Jeno’s cheeks immediately go red with a blush.

“That’s not it! I’m faithful to my crushes,” the other omega answers. “But, when some boys from the team mocked me for being an omega playing sports, Mark supported me and totally saved me from a beating.”

This actually makes Donghyuck reconsider the offer to hang out. An alpha who doesn’t care about omega stereotypes, huh. Seems like he’d be a good ally in the fight against asshole alphas. Maybe he should give the guy a chance, just to make his friend happy.

“Okay, I’ll go with you,” he says with a sight.

“Yay!”

“But one wrong move and I’ll break their hands.”

“They’ll behave, I promise.”

***

The group meets at a nondescript diner near campus. The food is cheap and good enough.

Donghyuck, Renjun and Jaemin sit by one of the tables on the corner, waiting for Jeno and his friends to show up. Since they come from basketball practice, and had the decency to shower, they’re going to take a bit to come to the place. The omegas and alpha take the time to chat and gossip among themselves.

Then, Donghyuck hears the bell on the door jingle. He turns his head and sees a group of very tall, very handsome men approach them. Jeno among them. However, instead of counting 4 people, he sees 5. He frowns at the addition of yet another stranger to the plan. And both of them look pretty alpha-like too. One of them is really fucking tall, muscular, with tanned skin, brown hair and eyes, lots of earrings, and the perfect facial structure. The other one is shorter than the rest of the boys, just a bit taller than Donghyuck himself actually, with jet black hair, thin lips, and doe eyes. Donghyuck would say he’s cute.

“Hey, guys!” Johnny greets them with a smile. The rest of the basketball boys follow him and wave a hello to them. They wave back.

“So, guys, these are Mark and his friend Yukhei,” Jeno says, introducing the two unknown boys. Donghyuck’s eyebrows knit in confusion at the mention of the second boy.

“Yukhei? I don’t think I know a Yukhei from the basketball team, are you new?” Dog tuck asks, voicing out his thoughts straight away. Tall and handsome smiles at him in a friendly way and answers:

“Nah, I’m part of the dance team, man. Basketball is full of jerks too worried about balls”; he says with a wink. “I’m just here because I’m friends with Mark here.”

Donghyuck smiles at the guy’s answer before telling them to take a sit. So far, he thinks he might approve of this alpha. Now only Mark has to prove himself. But Donghyuck thinks he’ll get time to get to know the alpha enough to judge whether or not he likes him by the end of this hanging out session. After all, Mark decided to sit besides Donghyuck.

What hits him about the alpha, apart from his stunningly soft looks, is his scent. Mark doesn’t smell overpowering, like most alphas do. His scent is distinguishable but not overwhelming. He smells like cedar with hints of citronella, not a usual alpha scent, but still enough for him to be identified as such. Donghyuck finds that the scent doesn’t bother him. His inner omega doesn´t recoil at the scent, which, he guesses, is a good signal.

Everyone gets along just fine, throughout the whole ordeal. Donghyuck actually approves of the new alphas. He would even say he gets along with Yukhei just fine. He doesn’t really know about Mark though, cause the boy had remained quiet for most of the thing. But he was respectful and said the right things, so, good till now.

Donghyuck decides to ignore the fact that he finds himself very physically attracted to Mark. He shouldn´t want an alpha, it´s dangerous.

They start saying goodbyes and exit the diner to head to their respective dorms. Jaemin walks Renjun and Jeno back, like always. Yukhei excuses himself cause he’s gotta meets bother friend. Jaehyun and Johnny leave together. That leaves Mark and Donghyuck. Who are walking in the same direction. Panic starts to raise up in Donghyuck’s throat.

“Are you following me?” He asks Mark, his eyes narrowed on the boy menacingly. Mark’s eyes widen and his mouth hangs open.

“What?! No!” He answers in a rush. “My dorm is in the residence over there,” he says, pointing in the direction in which Donghyuck’s own residence is. Huh.

“Oh, okay,” the omega answers. There’s an awkward silence hanging between. It is to be expected after you kind of accuse someone of following you when they weren’t.

“Uh,” Mark dumbly says, rubbing the back of his neck with a hand. He looks sheepish. “Maybe we could walk back together, if you’d like?”

Donghyuck scrutinizes the alpha with his gaze. Mark seems to take this as a rejection.

“Or not. It’s fine,” he says sincerely.

“Nah, let’s walk together,” Donghyuck ends up saying. He decides that Mark doesn’t look like a threat. Maybe he should give the boy a chance.

“Okay,” Mark agrees with a smile. It’s the cutest smile Donghyuck has seen ins while; the corners of the boy’s eyes crinkle and his cute nose scrunches. “So, what’s up with your life? You said before that you were working on a musical, right?”

Donghyuck blinks. He’d just mentioned that as a detail, hadn’t been expecting someone to ask him about it. He appreciates the fact that Mark apparently had listened to the conversation. And that he showed interest in what Donghyuck was doing. More points for the alpha.

“Yeah, it’s actually pretty cool. I’m going to sing one of the main parts,” Donghyuck says. Mark whistles in appreciation.

“Wow, congrats. That must take a lot of work,” the alpha says. Donghyuck smiles at him.

“Not that much,” the omega dismisses the compliment.

“I just think, you must be really talented and dedicated to get a role like that,” Mark says with a reassuring smile. Donghyuck is surprised at the comment. People usually assume he was chosen because of his looks and only his friends actually compliment him about the important stuff. It feels nice that someone else has noticed too. Maybe Mark is actually a nice guy. 

“Thanks,” Donghyuck honestly says. “What about you? I hadn’t seen you before, how come?”

“I just moved from Canada and I spend a lot of time holed up in the library,” Mark answers. He jumps into telling the story of his really eventful moving process. He manages to make it funny and keep Donghyuck intrigued.

They keep talking. They have fun. They even exchange numbers and call each other a friend. It’s nice.

***

Turns out, Mark and Donghyuck get along really well. Even if they are really different, they understand each other just fine.

Donghyuck finds that Mark is actually funny. He turns out to be loud when he becomes friends with someone, leaving most of his shyness behind. He is also really kind and understanding and respectful. He’s also a big nerd and bookworm, but Donghyuck considers that to be cute. The boy also giggles at anything and is hardworking; he always gives his best at whatever he does. He also helps those in need all the time.

So, after texting and hanging out with Mark for a couple of weeks, Donghyuck’s having a conflict. Because he’s pretty sure that he has a giant crush on the alpha. He really, _really_ likes Mark. And that’s a problem.

Donghyuck might trust some alphas as friends, but he’s not sure if he can trust them as something more. He knows not all alphas are bad, but enough of them have done awful things for him to be wary of them. Alphas have hurt him before, and he doesn’t want it to happen again. He doesn’t want to go back to that void of darkness that almost consumed him when that policeman attacked him. He doesn’t want to give up the `just friends´ boundaries, because he’s uncertain of what will happen next.

Besides, that is just the rational part of himself. His inner omega happens to be terrified of alphas. Thing is, if something traumatic happens to someone, they might get over it, but their unconscious self, which is ruled by their wolf, might not. His inner omega is almost completely instinct/emotion-based. After all, his wolf side is just trying to help him survive as painlessly as possible. That´s why it takes Donghyuck so long to trust people; his omega is way too scared to accept them, even if Donghyuck has rationally decided that they´re not a threat.

He can’t help but wish he wasn’t that distrustful. Because every time his phone lights up with a text from Mark, his heart picks up and his world lights up. And he wants to walk that way with the alpha. But his fear is stopping him from doing it. Renjun says that fear is paralyzing him, but what if it is protecting him?

There was also the is part of him that told him that he can’t cede to the omega stereotype of wanting an alpha. But he shuts out that part of his brain because it’s stupid. He can want whoever he wants as long as it is his choice. The life is a stereotypical omega is not necessarily bad - if that truly is what the omega wants. It’s all about the freedom to choose. And he’d like to choose Mark, but is too afraid to.

In the middle of his crisis, he receives a text.

**Cutie big ass head**

Heyyy

I have something to tell you

And I’m just going to do it before I chicken out

I hope that I don’t make it weird

And you can totally say no

Which is a given bc you always do whatever you want

But

Well

Nvm

**Me**

Mark

**Cutie big ass head**

...Yeah?

**Me**

Now u have to tell me

**Cutie big ass head**

No

**Me**

(--_--)

**Cutie big ass head**

(*ﾉωﾉ)

Would you go out with me??

**Me**

Sure

**Cutie big ass head**

OMG

YOU ACTUALLY SAID YES

＼(≧▽≦)／

**Me**

???

I go out w u all the time, tho?

**Cutie big ass head**

(ノ_<。)

I meant

As in a date

But I guess you don’t see me that way

We can still hang out as friends, right??

**Me**

...

**Cutie big ass head**

Hyuck???

I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable

Hyuck

I’m sorry :(

**Me**

Give me a sec

Hyuck’s takes a deep breath. Mark is a good guy. Mark worries about him. Donghyuck likes Mark. And maybe he should take a leap of faith, even if he’s scared shitless.

“Come on, Hyuck. Just tell him yes already!” Renjun whines beside him. He’s been sitting by Donghyuck’s dude this whole time, but Donghyuck didn’t know he’d been reading the conversation. He’s about to complain about the lack of privacy in this society, but Renjun beats him to it. “I’m your best friend, I’m entitled to. Just say yes and if he breaks your heart, I’ll break all the bones in his alpha body.”

“I love having a scary best friend,” Donghyuck replies with a smirk. Renjun smacks his head and proceeds to roll his eyes. Donghyuck knows the there´s love behind those gestures.

**Me**

Give me a sec

To scream into my pillow bc my crush just asked me out

**Cutie big ass head**

OMG

I’M YOUR CRUSH????

**Me**

No, I was talking abt the wall

(￢_￢;)

**Cutie big ass head**

Noooo

Sorry

You’re my crush too

(//ω//)

**Me**

Good

That’s all he says through text, but Donghyuck can’t stop smiling. He’s got the biggest grin on his face, his cheeks are flushed and he couldn’t be happier. He hopes that he’s not making a mistake with trusting Mark.

**Cutie big ass head**

Is that a yes to the date??

**Me**

Yeah

As long as u plan it

**Cutie big ass head**

YES

I mean, yeah oc

**Me**

Hit me w the details when you´re done

**Cutie big ass head**

Okay

…

<3

**Me**

…

<3

***

They go to an amusement park, since Mark knows Donghyuck loves that kind of stuff. Mark almost threw up several times, but it was fine after a while. They talked, they joked, they ate. It was actually really fun; Donghyuck had a great day.

His favorite part, though, was when Mark asked him if they could hold hands. Donghyuck thinks he´ll remember that moment forever. One, because it was cute as fuck. Two, because one of his favorite things about Mark is that he always asks for permission before he does something. Some people might call him weak or indecisive for that, but Donghyuck thinks it is Mark´s way to make him feel comfortable, to reassure him that they stand on the same level and that Donghyuck is free to pull away at any time.

It helps with Donghyuck´s trust issues. And his inner omega feels comfortable around Mark.

What also helped was when Mark kissed him.

They were walking towards their respective dorms, hand in hand. Mark accompanied Donghyuck all the way to his door, because it was pretty late at night. Donghyuck was thankful for Mark´s gesture. Then Mark asked:

“Can I kiss you?” with so much hope in those pretty doe eyes of his. Donghyuck felt butterflies in his stomach, but he also panic rising in his throat.

“Just one kiss,” Donghyuck said. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. He took deep breaths and reminded himself that Mark wouldn´t hurt him. Or that´s what he hoped.

However, Mark seemed to catch on his panic. He got close to Donghyuck, without touching any part of his body apart from his hands. Then, he left a light kiss on the omega´s cheek. And he blushed.

Donghyuck felt the weariness go away and the butterflies in his stomach intensify. He decided that he should be he one to take a step forward now. After all, the alpha had done everything to prove himself to Donghyuck.

“Can I kiss _you_ now?” Donghyuck asked. Mark´s eyes widened. The pink hue on his cheeks darkened. He nodded vigorously. Donghyuck leaned in and left a fast peck on the corner of the alpha´s mouth. Instead of asking for more, or pressuring Donghyuck, Mark broke into a goofy grin. Then, they both giggled at their silliness.

“Um,” Mark said, biting on his lower lip to suppress a smile. “You said you were tired, I should go.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck answered with a smile of his own. “I´ll see you soon, and text you.”

“Okay.”

Yeah, that date was pretty much spectacular. Donghyuck is so happy at how it turned out.

***

As they promised that night, they keep on texting and going on dates. Lots of dates. They also do a lot of kissing and some scenting. And Donghyuck is really happy. He is comfortable with Mark. He likes Mark and loves the way Mark treats him. He likes that, when he told Mark that he didn’t want to have sex with him yet, Mark had agreed immediately that they should go slow.

It is for all of these things, that Donghyuck thinks he´s falling in love with Mark Lee. And it scares him a whole fucking lot. He doesn´t want his happiness to be dependent on one person, least of all an alpha. He doesn´t want to fall for Mark because then he´ll be even more vulnerable than he is now. He doesn´t want to fall in love with Mark because he knows that things can´t be perfect all the time. He doesn't want to fall in love with Mark because he knows he´s bound to get hurt sometimes, because people make mistakes and hurt others, even if sometimes it is not intended.

All these doubts haunt him when he´s alone, when he´s in his dorm doing random stuff and the realization that he´s thinking about Mark again hits. His fear screams at him to distance himself, to be careful. But, when he´s with Mark, all the doubts get numbed, the fear quiets down. To some extent, it is a good thing, for Mark is one of the people in his life who make him happy. But it is also a bad thing, for he lets some of his self-protecting walls crumble. It lets him get closer to Mark, but it also makes Mark more dangerous in case he decided to hurt Donghyuck.

Nevertheless, Donghyuck chooses to ignore his fears for a while longer, as Renjun had advised him to. That’s why, when Mark makes a proposition to him, he accepts.

“Hyuck?”

“Yeah?” he answers absentmindedly.

“Nothing, forget it,” the alpha answers. That´s when Donghyuck looks up.

“Are you okay, Mark?” he asks, taking the alpha´s hand in his. Mark lets out a strained chuckle. He rubs the back of his neck, something he does when he´s nervous or embarrassed.

“Yeah, I´m just worried about the game,” he says. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at him, not believing that it is the whole truth about the boy´s distress. Mark notices and sighs in defeat. “And I was also wondering if you´d like to, uh, make us an official thing?”

“What do you mean?” Donghyuck asks, his eyes narrowing on Mark. His inner omega recoils in pain, and beats himself up for trusting an alpha again.

They had never referred to what they had with a specific tag. And Donghyuck hadn’t been bothered by that. He thought that being exclusive was a given. Doubt starts creeping up his spine. He retracts his hand from Mark´s. Does that mean that Mark had been seeing other people at the same time? No way, he doesn´t smell like any other omega. But then again-

“Hyuck, I don´t know what you´re thinking, but you´re scaring me,” the alpha says. Donghyuck takes a deep breath and hardens his gaze.

“Were you seeing someone else, too?” he asks. Mark looks completely surprised by the question.

“What?! No!” he denies instantly. The ugly feelings in Donghyuck´s chest calm down, his inner omega seems to do so too. “I, well, actually, in my head, I thought we had something pretty stable without the need for confirmation. But then Johnny asked me if were official yet, and I didn´t know what to tell him, and I just wanted to ask you if you wanted to officially become my boyfriend. But I guess I just made this really awkward.”

“Huh,” the omega lets out, taking in all the new information. He guesses that it´s a valid explanation. He looks at the dejected alpha beside him. He takes Mark´s hand again. “Ask me again. Properly.”

“What? OH, oh, okay,” Mark says in a surprised toned. Donghyuck smiles at how cute the alpha is. “Would you please be my boyfriend, Hyuck?”

“Only because you asked nicely,” Donghyuck answers petulantly. Mark rolls his eyes at the answer, but a fond smile turns up his lips.

“One last question.”

“Shoot.”

“Would you go to my basketball game, this weekend?” Mark asks. There´s hope in his eyes and another emotion Donghyuck doesn't dare to name. The thing is, Donghyuck hesitates to say yes to this one request. Basketball games are full of sweaty alphas, which means that their scents and pheromones are crazy strong and that they feel entitled to do anything they want. Which is why, Donghyuck usually avoids basketball games. “Stupid question, I know you don´t feel comfortable with so many alphas around,” Mark then says. “Can we hang out after the game, though?”

And this, this is why it is so hard for Donghyuck to say no to Mark. This is why it is so hard for him not fall for the alpha. Because he´s so understanding, and gives so much. But maybe Donghyuck should make a little sacrifice himself to show Mark how much he appreciates him.

“No, it´s okay, I´ll go,” Donghyuck says. he shouldn’t be scared, just careful, Renjun said. Mark looks positively surprised. The alpha tries to hide his happiness, but it is evident for Donghyuck.

“Are you sure?” he asks. Donghyuck nods. “Great, that´s great.”

“One condition,” Donghyuck says, then, raising one finger in Mark´s direction. Mark gulps. “I want to wear your varsity jacket.”

This is, admittedly, a new thing for them. Donghyuck had worn some of Mark´s clothes before, but only when it was imperative. And it only lasted for a little while, like when walking on their way to their dorms when Mark would give him his jacket so that he wasn’t cold. Or when he´d lend him his gloves at the library. Simple stuff. But they both know that the varsity jacket is like a statement to the whole campus, that they are a thing. And the fact that Donghyuck outright asked for it is a big deal in itself, since it is usually Mark the one who asks for this type of thing.

If someone asks Donghyuck, he´ll say he wants the jacket solely for safety. The reality is he wants to keep other alphas away, but also because he finds Mark´s scent comforting. That way, he´ll be able to have his nose buried in the alpha´s scent all game long. And maybe he wants to brag about his relationship with his friends.

“Yes, sure,” Mark answers to his request, a little breathless. He looks at Donghyuck as if he´s the only person in the word. “Can I kiss you?” Donghyuck nods.

Mark kisses him. And all the nice feelings in Donghyuck´s body awake. Through that one kiss, Mark tells him so many things. He tells him that he´s thankful for being given the chance. He tells him that he really appreciates his efforts. He tells him that he enjoys spending time with him. He tells him-

“I love you, Hyuck,” Mark says. Donghyuck gasps and pulls back. He scrutinizes Mark, looking for a sign, for the telltale of a lie. He doesn´t find any.

“Mark, I, I´m not ready,” is all Donghyuck answers. Surprisingly, he doesn't feel panic. He feels joy at Mark´s words. But he doesn´t want to say something he doesn´t mean just because of the moment. And he´s still in denial about imminence of falling in love with Mark.

“It´s okay, you don´t have to say it back. I just wanted you to know,” the alpha says with a sincere smile. Donghyuck knows that Mark means it when he says that he doesn't have to say it back. And this is why it is so hard for him not to tell the alpha that he might be in love with him.

Because he doesn't trust his brain, he decides to let his mouth do the work. He surges forward and kisses Mark with all he´s got. Mark lets out a surprised noise, but then melts into the kiss. With a soft caress of his lips he thanks Mark for his understanding and kindness. With a sweep of his tongue he tells him that he really likes him. With his fingers playing with the hair on Mark´s nape, he tells him to wait a little longer. Because he wants them to walk this path together.

***

Donghyuck doesn´t think he´s a bad person. But sometimes he can´t help feeling bad about himself. Sometimes he doubts if he´s really doing the right thing. If he´s being loyal to himself. If he´s really someone or just the reaction to his circumstances.

He knows that what´s happened to him is not his fault. But he feels bad about it sometimes; feels like this shit surpasses him. Donghyuck wonders if he´s too angry at life. If he´s too anxious, too scared, too rude, too frustrated, too sad. He wonders if that´s all he is: negative feelings waiting to explode.

He tries. He really does try to make a change. To be good. To be helpful and caring to the people around him. To impact the world in a good way. He knows most people believe him to be good. But sometimes he doesn´t believe it himself.

He doesn´t mean to be rude or harsh to people. He´s just defending himself. And his past proves that he is right not to trust people, to be aware of the threats posed by society. But he recognizes that sometimes he´s too hard on others. And maybe he´s being too hard on Mark.

Yes, Donghyuck´s given the alpha the chance to prove that he´s different. He opened up and actually started dating him – became his official boyfriend, even. He´s giving the relationship a real shot. But, despite giving Mark the opportunity to show that he´s different, Donghyuck himself hasn´t shown that he´s not stuck on his anger and fear of alphas.

He knows he can´t just let go of the feelings that have kept him on guard and alive till now. He can´t go back to the bliss of living as an ignorant of the situation. But he can certainly move on, evolve. He can keep fighting for what he thinks is right, but he doesn´t have to be bitter about it. He ca enjoy his life, even if it´s not the best – as long as he doesn´t lose his goal. Being an omega who fights against alpha oppression doesn´t mean he can´t enjoy a romance with an alpha.

He can walk towards trusting Mark fully; with his thoughts, feelings, body. He can walk towards loving Mark, in spite of how other alphas have hurt him. Because Mark is different, Mark cares.

It might take some time. But Donghyuck thinks Mark is worth the effort.

***

Donghyuck thinks basketball games are overrated. Unless you like basketball. Which Donghyuck doesn't. Food sucks, people are too noisy, the gym reeks of sweat. Literally, the only he´s enjoying is the sight of Mark´s muscles and his sweaty face. Donghyuck has to admit his boyfriend might be cute, but he is also really hot.

Unfortunately for him, Donghyuck keeps having thoughts of how sexy Mark is for the whole duration of the game. But the real problem is, he´s been having these thoughts since before the game. And they become more difficult to ignore with each passing day. Nevertheless, Donghyuck finds himself unable to take the next step in their relationship and have sex with Mark.

It´s not that he thinks of sex as something bad. He just thinks of it as a situation of incredible vulnerability. He knows society these days doesn´t give much importance to sex, but he does. He doesn´t think of sex as something ultimate or that should necessarily wait for marriage or the one or anything like that. He just considers that it should be a little bit more valued; maybe not wait till marriage, but not have sex with a stranger either. He doesn´t judge people who do it, he just doesn´t understand how they can trust someone else – a stranger, specially – with their bodies and emotions. Because even in a no-strings-attached encounter, there are emotions involved for the simple fact that humans are emotional beings who can´t detach themselves from feelings, whether they like it or not.

And Donghyuck does want to have sex with Mark. He wants to share that special part of himself with the alpha. However, every time he thinks about it, his brain goes into panic mode. His inner omega doesn´t trust the alpha yet. He always remembers that policeman. He always remembers how much it hurt, how much he suffered – not only at the moment, but also the social backlash, his family´s reaction. He doesn't want to go through that again. Although he thinks Mark would never hurt him, he can´t ever be completely sure. Because you think you know people until they betray you, stab you by your back and take something precious from you.

Not all alphas are bad, he knows that by experience. But enough of them have hurt him and his loved ones for him to be wary. To some degree, his fear acts like a shield. The only problem is that, while it won´t let anyone hurt him, it will also leave him alone.

Donghyuck _wants_ to trust Mark. But he doesn´t know if he should, or if he´ll be able to.

The game ends sooner than expected. And Mark´s team won the game.

Donghyuck smiles at the silly grin on Mark´s lips as he reunites with his team. They all throw some cheers in the air and pat and hug each other in a very sport-bro way. Then, Mark turns towards the bleachers, looking for his boyfriend with his eyes. When he finds him, he gestures for Donghyuck to come down. The omega follows along.

He meets Mark by the border of the court.

“Hey, congrats, dork,” Donghyuck says with a teasing smile. Mark rolls his eyes at the comment. Donghyuck throws his arms around the alpha´s neck and kisses his cheek. “Well done, Mark.”

Mark giggles at the younger´s actions. He loops his muscly arms around Donghyuck´s lithe waist. Then, he lays his own kiss on the corner of the omega´s mouth.

“Thanks,” he answers with crinkled eyes. “Did you enjoy the game?”

“I enjoyed watching you play, the game itself…not so much,” Donghyuck answers before he can think of the words tumbling out of his lips. He blushes right after he finishes talking. Mark doesn´t seem surprised by the answer, only amused. And really fucking smug. He chuckles lightly.

“I´m glad,” Mark says. They stop talking and simply look at each other for a moment. That´s when Mark´s scent hits him.

Donghyuck has been wearing Mark´s varsity jacket since the beginning of the game, so he´d grown accustomed to Mark´s scent through it. But now that Mark is here, in front of him, all sweaty and glistening, the smell hits different. It does comfort Donghyuck in the usual way, but it also awakes a feeling of hunger inside him. The alpha smells _so good_.

Donghyuck needs to get a hold of himself.

“Um, you´re in need of a shower, my dear boyfriend,” the omega says. Mark looks extremely happy that Donghyuck called him his boyfriend. He seems to blank out for a minute before he reacts to what Donghyuck was actually telling him.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. I´m all sweaty,” he says after a moment, pulling back. Donghyuck misses the contact instantly. “By the way, you look really good in my jacket,” he says with a little shy smile. Donghyuck smiles back.

“Bet he´d look better without it! Or any of his clothes!” one of the players yells. Donghyuck feels uncomfortable right away. Mark notices.

“Stop bothering him, Kim! And find a conversation you were actually invited to!” the alpha yells back. “Hey, I gotta go shower. Wait for me outside?”

“Okay.” Mark gives Donghyuck a peck on the lips before he runs to the locker room.

Donghyuck starts to head out of the gymnasium. Unluckily, the guy who shouted earlier and a bunch of his friends are at the door. Donghyuck takes a deep breath and prepares himself to break a couple of bones.

“Hi, pretty boy,” one of them purrs. Donghyuck is absolutely repulsed.

“Don´t call me that, and please move, you´re blocking the door,” he answers, poison in his voice.

“Mark likes them mouthy, huh,” the guy answers.

“You either move yourself or I´ll move you,” Donghyuck threatens him. The guy seems to finally acknowledge that he´s serious. He has the decency to at least look concerned. He whistles dismissively.

“So stuck-up; we want to compliment you and you are rude to us. I wonder how little Mark puts up with you.”

“Maybe you´re good enough in bed to lessen the negative effects of your personality.”

“At least congratulate little Mark _properly_ ,” they sneer at him.

Then they move. Donghyuck makes his way out of the gymnasium. He makes sure to wait for Mark at a place with enough light and people, so that no one will try anything on him.

It bothers Donghyuck – makes him mad that those alphas´ words got to him. That they managed to poke at all of his insecurities as of lately. He wants to have sex with Mark, but is too scared to. However, he knows that Mark can´t wait forever. And he doesn't know when his time will be up.

He doesn´t want Mark to leave him. He wants to be enough for Mark to stay. Despite all of his fear about falling in love with an alpha, he doesn´t want this new, beautiful thing between them go away.

Donghyuck steels himself and takes a decision. His fear of Mark leaving him is bigger than his fear of Mark betraying his trust. Or that´s what he makes himself believe.

Donghyuck wants to have sex with Mark. Tonight.

***

Everything starts out well. After the game, they head somewhere for dinner. They talk, they joke, they go about as they usually do. Donghyuck is a bit tense, but nothing major enough for Mark to notice. Donghyuck almost forgets his resolution with how much he enjoys the time with Mark. That is, until they start walking towards the dorms.

Donghyuck feels fear, tension and nerves sizzling inside him. He wants this, he really wants this; he´s still afraid.

They stop in front of Donghyuck´s door. Mark leans in to give Donghyuck the usual goodnight kiss. But this time, when Mark leans in, Donghyuck takes control of the kiss. While he normally goes for soft and sweet, tonight he goes for urgent and sensual. It doesn´t take much for Donghyuck to coax the alpha´s lips open and slide his tongue inside the other´s mouth. He only pulls back to get some air. He separates their bodies but keeps their hands linked.

He takes in the sight of Mark. His lips are red and spit-slicked. His eyes are wide open and a bit glazed. He looks surprised, disheveled, but also amazed and happy. Donghyuck can´t fuck this up.

“Would you like to come inside?” He whispers to the alpha. He bites his lower lip in a nervous way. Mark visibly gulps at his proposition. Donghyuck can tell that he’s trying to be reasonable, but he also wants this. The fact makes Donghyuck’s stomach churn with an ugly uncertainty.

“Are you sure?” Mark asks. He always puts him first; he shouldn’t be afraid. He wants this. He wants this for himself, he wants this to prove Mark that he’s invested in this. In them.

“Yes,” the omega lets out. Mark takes a deep breath and nods. He gestures for Donghyuck to open the door.

As soon as they are inside, Mark kisses Donghyuck. He does it slowly, letting his tongue trail every corner of the younger’s mouth. The feeling awakes a hot sensation in Donghyuck’s belly. He likes this. He likes Mark.

Donghyuck decides to take control. He leads Mark to his bedroom. Mark keeps on kissing him like there’s nothing better to do in the world. The alpha’s hands lie on his hips and trace his torso at times. Donghyuck’s own hands are tangled in the elder’s hair.

He sits down on the edge of the bed. Mark remains standing, caressing Donghyuck’s hair as he kisses him.

Everything is going fine. Donghyuck is enjoying this. He almost forgets his fears. That’s when Mark gently pushes his shoulder back so that Donghyuck is lying on the bed.

Panic starts to creep up Donghyuck spine. Bile raises in his throat. His inner omega yells at him that he´s in danger. Mark leans down, over him and starts outlining his body with his hands. Then, he starts kissing his jaw and his neck and the skin on his chest visible with the shirt. Donghyuck feels tears prickle at his eyes.

 _Don’t cry, you want this_ , the omega tells himself.

And Mark pushes the varsity jacket off Donghyuck’s shoulders. And Donghyuck loses control. A sob is ripped out of his throat.

Mark freezes, stopping immediately. He pulls back from the younger and searches his face for a sign.

“Hyuck? What’s wrong??” He asks, concern tinting his voice. Donghyuck shakes his head. “Please talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” Donghyuck lets out with a chocked voice. He knows Mark wasn’t trying to hurt him; he was enjoying it, dammit. But the fear, he can’t control the fear he feels whenever he thinks someone will-

“What are you sorry about?” He asks, clearly confused. And Donghyuck can’t take it. He has such an amazing boyfriend and yet he’s not able to even have sex with him. Not only is he hurting himself by not letting anyone close, he’s also hurting one of the best people he’s ever met. He cries harder.

And no matter how much he tries, he can’t calm down. His inner omega keeps screaming inside his head, saying he´s in danger, saying he should run, stop this, get away. His heart is beating so fast, his chest hurts. It hurts so much that he can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. Donghyuck claws at Mark’s shirt and lets out a heart-wrecking cry. He can’t breathe. He needs help. He can’t, he can’t-

“-Hyuck, Hyuck, please listen to me. I don’t know what’s happening. But I’m here with you. You’re not alone. You’ll be okay. Please, breathe, breathe with me,” Mark practically begs. If Donghyuck wasn’t so goddamned scared, he would probably coo at how cute the alpha is. He takes Donghyuck’s hand and places it in the middle of his chest. “You feel how I’m breathing? You can do the same. Breathe with me, Donghyuck. Come on.”

And Donghyuck does. He finds himself taking gulps of air at first. Then, he takes in Mark’s soft and comforting cedar scent. Slowly, he eases his breathing back to normal.

Mark guides him through it. He talks to Donghyuck all the way. He murmurs soft reassuring things and breathes with him.

“Are you calmer now?” The alpha asks when he sees Donghyuck has almost stopped crying. “What can I do to make you feel better? Should I call Renjun or Jeno?”

“No! Don’t tell them!” Donghyuck says in a rush. His friends know about what happened to him, but for all they know, he’s okay now. And he really is, he’s just having minor issues.

“Okay, I won’t say anything. Do you want food? Hugs?” Mark asks. The distress in his voice is nearly palpable.

“Both. And sofa,” he says. Mark seems to understand what he wants.

“Do you prefer to walk or should I carry you?” Mark asks. For the sake of making the he situation less tense, the omega tries to joke.

“Carry me, make use of those muscles,” he says with a forced laugh. The corners of Mark’s lips twitch upwards, but he still looks worried. Then, he places one arm behind Donghyuck’s knees and one behind his shoulders to scoop him up bridal-style. He carries the younger boy to the sofa and lays him down gently.

Then, Mark heads to the kitchen. He grabs a box of cereal and brings it over to Donghyuck. The younger boy accepts the cereal box gratefully. Mark takes seat beside Donghyuck and waits for him to talk.

“I´m sorry,” the omega lets out. “I freaked out, I just can´t-“

“Hey, it´s okay,” Mark says. He extends his hand towards Donghyuck, to take his hand probably, but then seems to think better about it and retracts his hand. “You don´t need to explain if you don´t want to. Whether you want to do something or not is your choice. I´m sorry if I pressured you to do something you didn´t want.”

“No, I want it,” Donghyuck says in a rush. A blush paints his cheeks. “I just, something happened to me, before, and I guess I´m still not over it.”

“Okay,” Mark says. He looks at Donghyuck, ready to listen but also giving him the chance to stay quiet. Donghyuck really appreciates it.

He needs to tell Mark, he decides. He cares enough about Mark and wants him to stay with him for a long time. They won´t ever be able to advance in their relationship if they don´t talk to each other. If Donghyuck doesn´t open up about what´s been bothering him. Communication. He takes a deep breath and lets it all out.

“Three years ago, I happened to be walking to the store with my little brother,” the omega starts. Just remembering makes a lump in his throat. He continues despite the knot forming in his chest. “I was a couple of days away from my heat. And an alpha policeman suddenly stopped us. He said I needed to pay a fee for walking around like that. That if I refused to do get on his car, he would hurt my brother. So, I told my brother to run home and got inside the car. The policeman drove us somewhere secluded and then, he-“ a sob breaks out of his throat. Tears roll down his cheeks. “I don´t even remember how I got back home.”

“Can I hug you?” is the only thing Mark asks, worry clear in his voice. Donghyuck nods. Mark gets closer to the omega, slowly, giving him space to back out. Donghyuck doesn´t, instead, he buries himself in Mark´s arms, seeking for comfort. The alpha puts his arms around him loosely, in a way that Donghyuck can feel protected yet able to move away whenever he wants to. And Mark lets Donghyuck cry, without asking anything.

“It´s been a long time, and I went to therapy and I thought I was over it,” the omega says, gritting his teeth in frustration. “But I guess you can never forget that kind of thing.”

“Did you denounce him?” Mark asks then, still cradling the younger in his arms.

“Of course I did. Officer 2439, that was his batch number,” Donghyuck murmurs, hate etched into his voice. “They didn´t believe me,” he says in a hopeless way. “They said an officer would never do something like that. They said that in any case, it was my fault for dressing the way I did, for walking without an alpha, for smelling of heat. Like I asked for any of that. Like I asked to be born an omega in a society ruled by asshole alphas.”

“I´m so sorry you had to go through that,” Mark says. He sounds apologetic, but also angry. “I wish I could say it´s unbelievable that they did that to you, but I know it happens way too often. I´m sorry. And I´m sorry that I made you remember that.”

“It´s not your fault, I swear I want it,” Donghyuck cries out.

“Hey, it´s okay. That must be something difficult to go through and it´s okay if you don´t want to do this,” Mark says, rubbing Donghyuck´s back soothingly.

“I _want_ to do this, and I want to do it with _you,_ Mark,” Donghyuck says. “But I guess I´m still scared.”

“That´s understandable,” Mark says. There´s a blush on his cheeks at Donghyuck´s first comment. “I want this too, but not if it hurts you.”

“Do you think we could…try? Again? Sometime?” the omega says. Mark thinks about for a second.

“I´m up for it as long as you´re ready,” he simply says.

“I don´t know when I´ll stop being scared,” Donghyuck admits. Mark frowns thoughtfully.

“Well, this might sound weird, but what is specifically what scares you?” the alpha asks. Donghyuck knows he does it to help. He forces himself to think about it. Specific things.

He doesn’t want to trust people. He´s not scared about alphas themselves, but about what they might do. He´s afraid of not being able to choose. He´s afraid of abiding control. He´s afraid of being the most vulnerable one.

“I´m scared of being on the receiving end, of not having control,” Donghyuck ends up saying. Mark thinks about it for a second before saying:

“Maybe we could try you topping me? Maybe it´ll make you feel safer?” Mark proposes. Donghyuck´s eyes widen. He´d never thought about that. He´d never considered the possibility of an alpha lying down and receiving.

Donghyuck´s heart bursts with affection for the alpha in front of him. He really did win the lottery with Mark. He couldn´t have asked for a better person than his boyfriend. Maybe being in love with Mark shouldn´t scare him. Maybe it is a good thing.

“I guess we could try that, if you feel comfortable with it,” the omega answers. Mark nods. Then he rubs the back of his neck sheepishly.

“Let´s see how it goes, yeah? We´ll talk it through,” Mark says. Donghyuck nods in agreement.

Mark stays the night for the first time. However, they don´t try to do anything else. They´re all shy kisses and soft touches. They talk in low voices, letting their insecurities and secrets out. They comfort each other with their scents and words. They eat and cuddle. They remain in each other´s embrace until they fall asleep.

When Donghyuck wakes up in Mark´s arms the next morning, he comes to a conclusion: he is definitely in love with Mark. And it´s not something to be afraid of.

***

The incident doesn´t deter their relationship, it actually makes them closer. They make a habit of texting each other at random times. It doesn't matter what the text is about, really. Or when it is answered. What matters is that they keep each other company all day through.

Right now, is a clear example. Donghyuck is finishing dinner by now. He actually loves cooking and he´s really good at it. He was craving a home-cooked meal, so he prepared it: chicken, fried rice and veggies. He´s about to serve a portion on a plate when he receives a text.

**Cutie big ass head**

I´m tired

Don´t wanna study anymore

**Me**

Stop studying n come take a nap w me

**Cutie big ass head**

No

I need to study

But I don’t wanna ~(>_<~)

**Me**

So don´t

**Cutie big ass head**

(╮°-°)╮┳━━┳ ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

No

**Me**

Mark fucking Lee

Did u just throw a table at me?

**Cutie big ass head**

… Oops

┬─┬ノ( º _ ºノ)

**Me**

Fight me

**Cutie big ass head**

Come at me

**Me**

I´ll hit you

W my lips

On ur lips

Softly

**Cutie big ass head**

I´m not opposing to fighting like this all the time

**Me**

Good

<3

**Cutie big ass head**

<3

I´m hungry btw

**Me**

Oh

U at the library?

**Cutie big ass head**

Yeah, why?

**Me**

Wait for me

**Cutie big ass head**

Huh????

Donghyuck immediately puts his cooking inside Tupperware. He wants to do something nice for Mark. And this seems like a nice thing to do for him. His inner omega enjoys taking care of Mark. Besides, this way Donghyuck can spend more time with his boyfriend. And see the cute expressions he makes when he eats. That´s a plus.

So, the omega takes a sweater, his keys, phone, shoves the Tupperware in a bag, and heads to the library. He makes sure to call Jaemin on his way there, for safety´s sake. That way, if something happens to him, someone will notice. And the probability of being attacked while talking to someone on the phone is smaller.

He makes it to the library fast enough. It only takes him a couple of minutes. He heads for the secluded corner Mark usually uses to study. And, as predicted, the older boy is there, head buried in books.

Donghyuck approaches him quietly. Then, he hugs the alpha from behind, putting his arm around Mark´s shoulders and linking his hands in front of his chest. Mark lets out a gasp in surprise. When Donghyuck´s lavender scent hits him, he relaxes.

“Hyuck? What are you doing here?” he asks. Donghyuck smiles cheekily. He takes a seat next to Mark as he answers.

“You said you were hungry, I was about to have dinner, and I decided I should have dinner with you.” He takes out the contents of the bag and gives the alpha a plastic set of cutleries. When Mark sees the food, he lets out a disbelieving chuckle and shakes his head.

“You´re actually crazy,” he says. “But you´re also the best boyfriend ever. Thanks.”

“Well, I can´t let my adorable boyfriend starve to death while he studies, right?” Donghyuck says in an overdramatic tone. He takes a hand to his chest to make his speech even more dramatic. Mark laughs and shakes his head, but Donghyuck notices the light pink cue to his cheeks.

Suddenly, Mark stops eating.

“Wait, did you walk here on your own?” he asks the omega. Donghyuck knows where this is going. He would be annoyed at Mark´s worry f it didn´t endear him so much. The alpha´s concern for his safety really warms his heart. “That´s dangerous, Hyuck!”

“I made sure to take some safety measures,” Donghyuck answers. “Anything is dangerous, I can´t stop living because of fear. I can only be careful.”

“Fine,” Mark agrees with a defeated sight. He knows what Donghyuck is saying is true, but that doesn´t make him worry less.

“You´re really cute when you´re worried,” says the omega, fondness written all over his tone. This time, Mark blushes a dark shade of red. “How dare you attack me with your cuteness, Mark Lee?”

“Bold of you to accuse me of that, when you´re cute all day long,” Mark replies. It´s Donghyuck´s turn to blush. He slaps the alpha´s muscled arm.

“Why do you make me like you so much? Damn you,” he says with mock-annoyance.

“I love you with my whole belly, sunshine. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger,” Mark singsongs. He keeps eating like he didn´t just send the omega´s heart in a frenzy because of what he said or the cute nickname.

“You´re such a dork,” Donghyuck answers in hopes to disguise his feelings.

No matter how many times he says it, Donghyuck is always shocked by Mark´s sincere words of love for him. Every time, he hears those words leave the alpha´s mouth, Donghyuck´s heart beats crazily in his chest, not in a hurtful way, but in a way that agitates him, makes him want to dance and just makes him feel so… alive. So cared for. So important.

However, Donghyuck still can´t bring himself to say those words back to Mark. With every passing day, he is more and more convinced that he´s in love with the alpha. But he just can´t _say it_. He can´t, his mouth won´t let him. He doesn´t know why. Perhaps he´s still afraid, somewhere deep and instinctual, he still doesn´t want to put himself in danger. He knows it´s ridiculous; he´s already giving Mark his trust. But saying _those words_ would make it… real. Maybe he´s still not sure if he can love an alpha. Or maybe he´s not ready yet.

He sure hopes he will be ready soon, though. Cause he really, really likes Mark.

***

They have an indoors date. Nothing out of the ordinary. Only takeout, anime and blankets. And Donghyuck squishing Mark´s cheeks cause they´re free real state. They’re cuddled up on Donghyuck’s sofa. Anime is playing on the laptop on the table. But Donghyuck can’t seem to concentrate on the plot. The thing is, Mark smells absolutely incredible. He smells like his usual cedar, but a bit spicier, the hints of citronella stronger. And it is just so alluring to Donghyuck, he really couldn’t care less about the me anime.

Donghyuck knows that there are two possible reasons for Mark’s scent to be this enticing today. One, he is one week away from his heat. He still doesn’t have any symptoms, but his cycle is regular now and he just knows this one is about to hit. The second reason could be that Mark came straight away from basketball practice, no shower. He was supposed to shower at Donghyuck’s dorm but then they got distracted. So, the alpha is wearing his sweaty clothes and still hasn’t showered, which just enhances his scent. And the mix of those two factors, with Donghyuck’s sensitivity to scents because of his next heat and Mark’s strong scent... it makes sense that Donghyuck feels a little distracted.

Mark doesn’t seem to notice though. At least not until Donghyuck buries his nose in the space between Mark’s neck and shoulder. The omega had tried to contain it, but he really just wanted to scent the alpha.

“Hyuck?” Mark asks, confused by the younger’s actions. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” the boy answers, a little breathless. “You just smell so good.”

“Oh,” the alpha lets out. Donghyuck can imagine him blushing. However, he also notices the hint of lust in Mark’s expression. He chuckles lightly against his neck, feeling the alpha’s pulse pick up.

Instead of voicing how cute and irresistible he thinks Mark is, Donghyuck caresses Mark’s neck with the tip of his nose. He feels more than he hears Mark inhale. He lays a whisper of a kiss on Mark’s skin. He starts by gently pecking the alpha’s neck and shoulder. Then, temptation wins him over and he just licks a thick stripe of skin up the elder’s neck; all the way from the base of his throat up to the side of his Adam’s apple and to his sharp jaw. He starts leaving little bites soon enough. He feels Mark shiver at his touch. When he starts sucking the skin of his neck, Mark lets out a little moan. That only encourages the omega to suck harder. And Mark seems to like it, seems to like being marked up. Donghyuck is incredibly turned on by the thought.

When he’s done, he pulls back to appreciate his work. Mark’s neck is a mess of red and purple. The alpha’s chest heaves up and down and his eyes are half-lidded and glazed with want. Donghyuck likes the sight. There’s no ugly feeling in his stomach, just butterflies and a sensation of hotness.

“Can I?” Donghyuck asks, gesturing so that Mark understand. The alpha nods right away. Donghyuck smiles. He moves from his position on Mark’s side to Mark’s lap, in a way that his knees encase the alpha’s hips.

“Can I touch you?” Mark asks in a breathless whisper.

“Yes,” Donghyuck whispers back. It feels like they are sharing a secret in this intimacy. It feels like there’s nothing but them, in this room, kissing. Feels like they’re drowning in each other and breathing in for the first time.

Mark places his hands on Donghyuck’s hips. Then, slowly, tentatively, he slides then up the omega’s sides and back down his thighs. Donghyuck feels electricity running through his veins and sparks everywhere Mark touches him. It all adds to the hot feeling in his stomach.

This time there’s no panic. His inner omega is quiet, but happy under Mark´s attention. Donghyuck is in love with the way Mark touches him. Like he’s something to be treasured and cared of. Like he’s precious and delicate, but never weak. Like they’re equals and there’s no need for Mark to establish any ‘alpha dominance’ bullshit. Donghyuck likes it. Donghyuck likes Mark.

Donghyuck´s own hands go to Mark´s chest, touching over his front and shoulders. Then, his hands dive inside Mark´s shirt and to his back. The alpha gasps at the touch. He feels Mark´s hands tighten on his hips, but don´t move further. He takes Mark´s hands and places them under his shirt, giving the older boy a green light to roam. And Mark does, he explores the omega´s body with care and excitement.

It´s the moment when Mark starts playing with Donghyuck´s nipples that things change. Because Donghyuck´s immediate reaction is to ground his ass on Mark´s lap and let out a whine. The alpha lets out a quiet moan at the action. And Donghyuck does it again. He likes Mark. He likes this. He wants this.

“Mark,” Donghyuck breathes out. “I think I´m ready. Do you…want to…?” he blushes and ducks his head, not able to look the other boy in the eye anymore, embarrassed.

“Yeah,” the alpha lets out. He grabs Donghyuck´s chin between his fingers and coaxes him to look at him. “I´m in if you´re in,” he says with a soft smile, contrasting with the general atmosphere. Donghyuck feels his heart pick up at the sweet alpha.

“Bedroom?”

“Bedroom.”

Donghyuck leaves a last, slow kiss on Mark´s lips before pulling away. However, he keeps holding the alpha´s hands. Mark looks dazed and happy. Donghyuck can relate to the feeling. He pulls the alpha´s hand and guides him to his room. Mark follows him quietly, just staring at the omega with a lovestruck gaze.

When they enter the bedroom, they remain motionless at first. Until Mark asks:

“Do you want us to undress ourselves or do you feel comfortable undressing each other?” He says it so sweetly, with so much kindness and understanding. Even know, in the heat of the moment, he´s still looking out for the omega; for his consent, for his comfort, for his enjoyment. Donghyuck knows he made the right choice to trust Mark. Maybe he should trust him a bit more, little by little.

“We can undress each other,” he says in a soft murmur.

“Okay,” Mark replies bashfully. “Do you…um…”

“Can I go first?” Donghyuck asks tentatively. Mark looks up at him, doe eyes wide. His chest heaves up and down.

“Yeah,” the alpha breathes out. Donghyuck advances towards him slowly. He pushes Mark´s jacket off his shoulders and lets it fall to the ground. Then, he grabs the hem of his shirt, playing with it before he pulls it up. Mark raises his arms to help him. Donghyuck stops for a second to admire the alpha´s body. Mark´s body is covered in lean muscles and white skin. Donghyuck raises one hand to place it against Mark´s abdomen.

“Wow” he whispers. Mark giggles nervously at that. Donghyuck looks up to him and chuckles too. He feels safe, in control. He points to his own shirt, signaling for Mark to undress him too. Mark fingers the hem of his shirt before raising it slowly and getting it over Donghyuck´s head. He stares at the omega´s chest for a moment, seeming stunned. His hands go to Donghyuck´s sides and start roaming his torso, tracing lines between his multiple moles.

“You´re covered in stars, Hyuck,” he says in a low voice. Donghyuck giggles at the compliment, blushing all the way to his ears. They stand in mutual appreciation of each other, not saying any words, but transmitting enough with their careful, fond touches.

Donghyuck doesn´t know if Mark´s had sex with someone before him. He doesn't really care. Whatever they did or happened to them before doesn´t matter. Because it is present them now. Together, working through it all. A first time for both as they explore each other´s bodies with their eyes, hands, hearts and minds. A first time seeing each other this way, in this light. A first time for _them_ , which is all that matters.

They get rid of their pants and underwear soon enough too. At the beginning, they are both a little embarrassed. However, arousal quickly makes them forget all about their shyness, when they go back to kissing. And touching, more and more. And they want to get as close as humanly possible.

Mark ends up lying on the bed, on his back. Donghyuck hovers over him. Both boys are painfully hard. And maybe Donghyuck hadn´t noticed before, but he´s soaking wet. He doesn´t feel an urge to be filled up or anything like that. He just feels an urge to touch Mark, be near him, feel him everywhere. So he leaves kisses and hickeys all over the boy beneath him, while Mark caresses his body with his hands.

Donghyuck is careful in the way he touches Mark. Gently. Trying to read his body, to pleasure him. He doesn´t want Mark to feel like he´s in danger, like he´s stranded helpless in this position – in this bed, in this situation -, like he´s only being used, like he´s no one, like he´s unworthy, like it´s his fault. Donghyuck doesn´t want Mark to feel the same way he felt those years ago; the same way he feels when an alpha tries to come onto him, even these days. He wants Mark to feel treasured, safe, appreciated. He wants him to be here with him in all levels, not just physical. He wants him to feel good, to enjoy this too.

“Hyuck,” Mark moans as Donghyuck sucks a hickey on his left hip. “I want you, please.”

“Are you sure?” the omega asks. Mark nods enthusiastically. “Well, I´ll prep you then.”

“Yeah, just…,” the alpha blushes, looking extremely sheepish. “I´ve never bottomed before, so, can you go slow?”

“Of course,” Donghyuck answers immediately. After a moment he asks: “Are you afraid?”

“No,” Mark answers instantly. “A bit nervous, I guess. But I know you´ll take care of me, and I´ll take care of you. We´ll both be fine if we keep that in mind.”

Donghyuck smiles with his whole heart at this boy. At his faith and trust in him. And he realizes that he doesn´t have to be scared as long as he´s with Mark. Not all alphas are bad, not all of them are trying to hurt him. He´s gotta be careful, but he can´t stop living. And Mark has shown him that. So, Donghyuck will take care of Mark, just as much as Mark takes care of Donghyuck.

Donghyuck feels safe and cherished by Mark. Even if he´s nervous himself, he wants to go on. He wants Mark to feel the way he makes Donghyuck feel.

“I was not prepared for this to happen, so we´ll have to improvise,” the omega says. As he produces slick of his own, he doesn’t really have lube lying around in his dorm. But he guesses he can fix the problem.

First, Donghyuck starts jerking Mark off slowly to distract him from what he´s about do. Donghyuck gets his other hand between his own legs. Mark looks at him, confused at his actions. That is, until Donghyuck´s hand comes up, covered in slick. And he gently pushes a finger against the alpha´s asshole, the slick making the slide easier. He starts working the other boy open as he jerks him off.

“Oh my god, I can´t believe you just used your slick to lube up my ass,” Mark says, his voice wavering between aroused and amused.

“I´m a resourceful man,” Donghyuck answers with a smug smirk.

“I´m glad, this way I´ll smell like you for longer,” Mark says with a bashful smile. Donghyuck smiles.

“You´ll have to come on me so that I´ll smell just as strongly of you,” Donghyuck replies. Mark´s blush deepens. Then he asks: “How are you doing?”

“Fine, I guess? It just feels like a have a finger up my ass, nothing major,” the alpha answers sincerely. Donghyuck chuckles at the comment. It´s such a Mark thing to say.

However, he is determined to make this experience enjoyable for both of them. And for that, Mark can´t just be feeling like having a finger up his ass. Consequently, Donghyuck starts to look for that one spot he knows will make Mark squirm with pleasure.

He, who looks, will find. Oh, and does Donghyuck find what he was looking for. The moment his finger touches that little bundle of nerves inside Mark, he knows it, as he is notified by a loud moan.

“Not just a finger anymore, I guess?” he teases the older.

“Do that again,” Mark demands with a whimper. Donghyuck complies.

Soon, he has three fingers up the alpha´s ass and Mark is a moaning mess. Donghyuck´s own situation is tricky; his ass is soaked and his cock is painfully hard at being ignored for so long.

“Can I?” Donghyuck asks. Mark knows exactly what he´s referring to. Even in his heated daze, he answers.

“Yes.”

Donghyuck coats his dick with his own slick before he pushes it into Mark´s hole slowly, until he bottoms out. The older boy lets out a gasp at the action. Donghyuck feels overwhelmed by feelings and sensations. Mark is so tight and wet and smells of cedar and citronella, but also of lavender, all heavily coated with the scent of arousal. A wave of lust hits him along with a crash of fondness and appreciation for the boy beneath him. There´s also another feeling that he´s not ready to name yet, but is definitely there. The omega gives the alpha time to adapt to his size before he moves.

They don´t go into a hard and fast frenzy. They go for slow, careful sex. Donghyuck hits Mark´s prostate with every one of his powerful, long thrusts. And Mark takes Donghyuck so good, he´s got him on the verge of coming since the beginning. Donghyuck finds out that Mark´s voice can be even sexier than it is on a normal basis. Mark finds out that Donghyuck´s voice tastes like dripping honey as he swallows the boy´s moans with his mouth.

They both make sure that they´re enjoying this. That they´re comfortable. The experience is intimate in a particular, _them_ , way.

When they both come, Donghyuck heads to the bathroom to bring something to clean Mark up. When he comes back, he takes his time to look at Mark. The alpha looks stunning like this; naked, sweaty, blissed out, his black hair stuck to his forehead, his doe eyes almost closed, his pretty lips red and swollen. He feels his heart burst at the sight.

He cleans them both up. Then, he tucks them into the blankets. Mark throws an arm over the omega´s waist. Donghyuck turns around so that he can be the little spoon. Mark cards his fingers through the other boy´s hair.

“Mark?” Donghyuck says before falling asleep. He gets a groan for an answer. “You´re one of the best things that´s happened to me.”

There is silence for a moment, where Donghyuck thinks the older has fallen asleep. Then, he feels the arms around him tighten.

“You´re one of the best things to happen to me too, sunshine,” the alpha whispers back. “And I am so glad Jeno invited me to hang out with his snarky best friend.”

“I´m glad too,” he answers truthfully. “Mark?”

“Hmm?”

“Thanks for being you and for everything you´ve done for me.”

“Thanks for giving me the chance.”


	2. Can we?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck doesn´t hate alphas. He just doesn’t trust them. But Mark, this one alpha, has gained way more than Donghyuck´s blind trust. 
> 
> They walk the way together. They have their happy ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again: some mentions of panic.
> 
> Mark is extremely cute and understanding, so careful with that too. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this!

They strengthen their relationship in all the ways possible. They do all kinds of shit; galleries, picnics, concerts, dinner at fancy places, dinner at cheap places, skating, coffee, just hanging out at the library. They kiss, make out, and sometimes a bit more than that. They are happy.

However, they haven´t had sex – proper sex – again. It´s not that they don´t want to, but both of them had agreed before that they would try to switch the next time. There´s no obligation or pressure to do it, per se; Donghyuck is sure that, if he asked, Mark would gladly bottom again. But Donghyuck doesn´t want that. He wants to be in the receiving end for the next time. He wants them be on equal grounds at all times.

Besides, Donghyuck has spent his last heats alone (he doesn't want for Mark to jump in with him on heat if they haven´t had sex with Donghyuck bottoming before, that would just be too much for both of them. But the point is, during his heat, he thinks about Mark; Mark _on_ him, _in_ him. He wants it, he´s been craving it. And he thinks he might be ready.

Now it´s just the anxiety of waiting for the right moment. His inner omega is still a little confused of what he thinks of Mark. There is a bit of fear of how things might go, but there´s more anticipation and excitement to be that close to Mark again.

***

They start doing a routinely series night every week. Once a week, they meet up and watch an episode of a series. They usually eat and talk while doing it. It becomes a usual, yet special, hangout session. It becomes one of their things. After a long day of school, they meet up and just comfort each other in simple ways. They enjoy it and it becomes their safe place for any kind of problem, topic or joy.

One night, Donghyuck goes into Mark´s dorm for their usual series day. He greets the alpha with a sweet kiss and a slap to the ass. Mark squeals and then squints at him in fake anger. Then, he starts giggling, Donghyuck follows along. That´s when he notices a vase with three yellow coneflowers and one sunflower in the center, all adorned with lavender. The vase is carefully placed on the table.

“What is this?” Donghyuck asks as he eyes the flowers. Mark looks up from the laptop, where he was about to play the next episode. He sees what Donghyuck is looking at and smiles. He rubs the back of his neck with his hand.

“Oh, those are flowers,” he says. Donghyuck huffs at him and rolls his eyes. Mark chuckles. “They remind me of you.”

“How so?” the omega asks curiously. He really wants to tease the alpha. So he continues. “I mean, did you miss me so much that you bought lavender?”

“Yeah, stop embarrassing me,” Mark whines. “You were busy with the musical all week long and I didn´t want to bother you, but I _did_ miss you.”

“I knew you liked my teasing,” Donghyuck keeps going with a smile. He closes up on Mark and places his arms around the other´s neck. “And I missed you too, but I needed to practice.”

“I know,” the alpha answers, looking at Donghyuck with so much feeling in his eyes.

“What about the other flowers?”

“Oh, the lady at the shop started telling me all about meanings of flowers and stuff,” he starts explaining. “Told me I could add more flowers that reminded me of you. Turns out coneflowers stand for justice and strength, so, I thought they were very fitting for your personality,” he says.

It´s Donghyuck´s turn to blush wildly.

“You´re such a dork,” he says, trying to hide his red face in Mark´s chest. “And you´re also very sweet,” he adds. The older boy laughs. “And sunflowers?”

“Those are not about you, well kinda,” he says. Donghyuck comes out of his hiding place to look at Mark with a questioning, quirked eyebrow. Mark chuckles nervously. “Those are about the way I see you, my feelings for you,” he says shyly.

“And how´s that?” Donghyuck asks. He says it in a teasing way, but he really does want to know. He approaches the alpha with feline, predatory grace.

“You´re splendid, and I…feel adoration and loyalty for you,” Mark answers, looking straight into Donghyuck´s eyes. “I know it´s cheesy…”

“You really are the cutest,” Donghyuck says as he looks into Mark´s eyes with so much fondness, with so much of _that one feeling_ he doesn´t want to address yet. Mark smiles and bites his lips in a bashful way. Donghyuck kisses him. Then he remembers.

“Oh, I bought something that reminded me of you, too,” he says. Mark quirks his head to side, like a puppy. Donghyuck takes a guitar pick out of the back pocket of his jeans. “I saw this and I thought it´d go well with your collection.”

“And you say I´m the cute one,” Mark says with a fond smile. He takes the pick Donghyuck is offering him. It has the drawing of a lion cub. He really likes it, likes that Donghyuck thinks of him too. He giggles at the cute gesture.

The night goes around corny words, shy glances, soft kisses and sweet touches. Donghyuck feels cared for, important, treasured. He closes his eyes and exhales in delight.

Mark must think that he´s asleep, cause he murmurs softly:

“I love you, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck doesn't respond. But his heart beats like crazy in his chest. He feels happier than he´s ever felt in his life.

Maybe soon, he´ll be able to say it back.

***

It´s finally the day. The musical Donghyuck´s been working so hard on, is finally to be presented in front of an audience. He´s nervous as fuck. He doesn't show his nerves though, he just helps everyone else calm down and keeps himself busy.

However, he comes to a point when all there´s left to do is his own makeup. And he´s still anxious about how this might play out. He doesn´t want to screw up; after putting so much effort and time in this, he wants it to be perfect. He needs to calm down.

He decides to text Mark.

**Me**

Hey dork

U busy?

**Cutie big ass head**

I´m in class

How´s the preparation going?

**Me**

…

It´s done but I´m not sure if I´m ready

**Cutie big ass head**

Wanna talk?

Can I call you?

**Me**

But you´re busy

**Cutie big ass head**

I´m not even paying attention

And you´re more important, anyways

**Me**

Okay

Donghyuck picks up as soon as his phone starts ringing.

“Hello?” he says into the phone.

“Hi, Hyuck. How are you feeling?” Mark asks. Just listening to his deep voice helps Donghyuck relax a little. The alpha´s voice comforts him.

“Nervous, I don´t wanna screw up,” he admits. “I´ve worked too hard for this to go wrong.”

“You´ll do great,” the older boy reassures him. “You dedicated yourself to his play and it will pay off.” Donghyuck nods to the alpha´s words on the other side of the phone. “Besides, you´re a natural for theatrics,” Mark jokes. Donghyuck rolls his eyes.

“Pffff, you´re supposed to make e feel better, you dork, not insult me,” the omega whines, trying to hide the smile in his voice.

“Hey, Hyuck?”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna know something about my boyfriend?” Mark asks. By the tone of his voice, Donghyuck knows he´s smiling. He decides to play along his boyfriend´s weird ideas.

“Tell me about him,” he answers.

“He´s really smart and sarcastic. A bit of a tease. He´s also one of the most talented and hardworking people I know. But you know what I like the most? I like that he always remains loyal to his values, his beliefs, his own personality. I think he´s really brave and driven to achieve his goals,” Mark says into the phone. There´s not an ounce of hesitation or falsity in his voice. Only reverence.

“Your boyfriend sounds like he´s got quite a personality,” Donghyuck says, trying to keep the happy tears at bay. He´s thankful that this is a phone call, this way Mark can´t hear how fast and loud Donghyuck´s heart is beating.

“I know. He´s gonna rock his presentation tonight. I can´t wait to see him perform. I´m thankful he decided to date me, although I´m not at his level,” the alpha answers. Donghyuck immediately responds.

“You might be an asshole for almost making your boyfriend cry before his presentation,” Donghyuck starts. “But let me tell that he feels lucky to have you, and that you´re the absolute best boyfriend he could´ve asked for.”

“I love you, Hyuck,” Mark answers. “And I´m glad you feel that way.”

“Now I really have to go and finish my makeup,” Donghyuck says with a huff. He doesn´t want to hang up. He wants to keep talking to Mark. “I feel much better now.”

“Good. I´ll see you in bit.”

“Yeah. And thank you, Mark, for everything,” the omega says into the phone. He hopes that Mark can tell how much he means it.

“I´m here for you, sunshine,” he says. Then he hangs up.

Donghyuck takes a deep breath and gets to work.

***

The presentation, as Mark had predicted, went great. Everything went according to the plan. And even of little mistakes were made, the crew managed to solve them and show the audience a good time. By the end of it, lots of people were talking about how good the main singer had been. Donghyuck is joyful.

Mark takes Donghyuck out for dinner as a congratulation. As always, they have a good time together. They take their usual walk to their dorms too. However, they stop before heading the usual way. They digress from the regular path in order to make out behind a random building.

Mark has Donghyuck pressed against the wall. One of his hands is placed on the wall, beside the younger´s head, and the other hand caresses the omega´s hip, encasing him. His inner omega doesn´t feel caged though, he feels protected. Donghyuck even brings Mark closer to him, one hand on the back of his neck and the other grasping the front of his shirt. They kiss each other like their lives depend on it. Their mouths clash together and their tongues dance in synchrony. Their breaths and scent mingle as they drink in each other.

Donghyuck is drowning in arousal. Tingles of electricity go through his whole body when Mark´s tongue slides against his. Then, Donghyuck feels something hard pressing against his hip.

“Mark,” the omega says between kisses. “Maybe we´re getting carried away.” He looks down to the alpha´s pants. Mark notices this. He blushes prettily.

“Oh, you´re right,” he answers, trying to pull back. But Donghyuck doesn´t let him. He pulls Mark back with the hand on his shirt.

“I didn´t mean for us to stop, maybe just take it somewhere more private, if you´re up for it,” Donghyuck suggests. Mark looks at his lips as he talks. The alpha seems completely entranced with Donghyuck. The younger boy blushes at the attention. “Mark?”

“Huh?” he makes a confused noise in return. Then, his senses seem to come back to him. “Oh, yeah. I´m in if you´re in.”

“Okay then,” the omega answers. He takes Mark´s hand in his and starts walking in the direction of Mark´s dorm, since it´s closer. As they walk, Donghyuck notices that Mark hasn´t taken his eyes off him. So, he asks: “What´s up with you tonight?”

“What?” he answers, going out of his reverie. “Oh, I guess I´m just distracted.”

“Uh-huh,” he answers, not believing in Mark´s answer. “You get horny when you´re distracted?” he asks teasingly.

“W-What, no, that´s not- ugh,” Mark sputters. He tries to cover his face with his hands, but Donghyuck doesn't let him. “My rut will hit in a couple of days and I´m getting a bit, you know…I just have this irrational desire of covering you up in my scent, before I disappear a couple of days. Sorry.” Mark says it in such a bashful way, the statement is cute, not imposing.

“Nah, it´s okay,” he replies. “I like smelling like you.”

“Good,” is Mark´s instant answer. He groans and blushes a deep shade of red after realizing what he just said. “Oh my god, why am I so embarrassing.”

“Let´s just get to your room, and you can scent me all you want,” Donghyuck says with a chuckle. Mark doesn't say anything back, but the omega can see the alpha´s pupils dilatate and smell his scent getting stronger in the air. Donghyuck tries not to let that amazing scent get to his head – or his pants.

***

As soon as they get inside again. Mark presses Donghyuck against another wall. Donghyuck is starting to suspect that Mark has a thing for making out against walls. He actually likes the idea. He wouldn´t complain if Mark fucked him against a wall either.

Mark starts licking at the omega´s neck, mouthing the scent gland on the side of his neck. Donghyuck moans and preens under the attention. He reaches down to palm at Mark´s pants. Mark groans in response. Then he pulls back. Donghyuck stares at him, confused.

“Maybe we should stop, it´s getting a bit out of hand,” the alpha says, his breath labored.

“I´m up for it,” Donghyuck reassures him. “Would you like to…?”

“Yeah, but I don´t want you to feel pressured about it,” Mark answers. Donghyuck knows he says it sincerely. He takes a deep breath.

“I want it. I want you.”

Things go faster from then. They start humping against each other in a frenzy. Hot hands and hot mouths everywhere. The take no time to make it into the bedroom. They discard their clothes quickly, leaving them only in underwear in record time.

Then, Mark throws Donghyuck on the bed. On any normal day, Donghyuck would consider the action extremely hot (his muscle kink is a thing, after all). But, for some reason, negative, completely irrational thoughts start coming at him as Mark climbs on top of him.

He can trust Mark with his body, right? Mark had trusted him the last time, after all. But what if Mark loses control? He´s near his rut. What if he doesn´t go at a pace that´s comfortable for Donghyuck? What if he turns deaf ears to the omega underneath him? What if his rut makes him act like other alphas? What if it makes him violent? What if Mark hurts him? What if Mark sees him differently after this? What if he tries to make Donghyuck submit?

What if Donghyuck´s not good enough? What if he can´t take it? What if he doesn't like it? What if Mark finds out that Donghyuck is not good enough for him?

What if Donghyuck´s only been imagining Mark´s care? What if Mark´s love for him fades away once he gets this? What if he leaves? What if this is a repeat from three years ago? What if Donghyuck hadn´t noticed? What if Mark takes advantage of his position? _What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if? What if?_

“Hyuck? Donghyuck? Donghyuck, can you hear me?” Mark´s deep voice pulls Donghyuck out of his thoughts. The omega notices that Mark is gently holding his face between his hands. He also looks really worried; his lips are in a pout and his eyebrows are drawn together.

“I can hear you,” he answers, his vice sounding wrecked. Only then does he become aware that he´s been crying – and probably screaming too. He raises to a sitting position. He sees that Mark is no longer on top of him, but sitting beside him.

“What´s going on?” Mark asks, concern marring his handsome face. He caresses the omega´s face with the back of his hand.

“I don´t know, I lost control of my emotions, I don´t- Mark, I” he stutters out. Suddenly, his chest feels tight and breathing becomes difficult. He gasps for air.

“Hey, it´s okay. Breathe with me,” he says in a soothing voice. He calms down Donghyuck by whispering sweet nothings into his ear and rubbing slow circles on his bare back.

“I´m sorry,” Donghyuck ends up muttering. He doesn´t now what he feels sorry about, though. He knows he doesn´t owe sex to anyone. He knows his opinion and thoughts and feelings about this matter, too. But that´s the thing; he does want this. He doesn´t know why his inner omega goes into panic, when this is what he wants – he wants Mark. So, why? Why can´t he go ahead? Everything was going fine, he was feeling okay, more than okay, but then his mind just went off and his instincts reacted.

“Hyuck, we don´t have to do anything, and you don´t have to be sorry about it,” Mark whispers to him. The alpha moves so that he can take the blanket on the bed and place it around the omega´s shoulders. The blanket has a faint smell of cedar and citronella. It calms Donghyuck down a little.

“But what if you get bored of me?” Donghyuck asks, letting out his insecurities. He is usually confident, but these moments make his insecurities shine out to him. “I mean, that would make you an asshole. But I still don´t want you to think that I don´t want this, because I do. I don´t want you to feel like I´m not here for your needs, just as you´ve been there for me all this time.”

“I´d like to believe that my feelings for you are stronger than my needs,” Mark says with conviction, looking straight into the omega´s eyes. “If this is about the almost-rut thing, then don´t worry, I can always jerk it off if you´re not ready,” he says with a blush. Such a prude for stuff like this, Donghyuck thinks with fondness.

“Well, the same thing applies to me,” Donghyuck answers. “I´d like to believe my feelings for you are stronger than my instincts to run. But my wolf won´t listen to me!” he says with frustration. “I´m a bad omega, I´m a bad person; I can´t even look out for you!”

“That´s not true,” Mark says with a frown. “Please don´t speak that way about yourself, sunshine,” he says in a softer voice. “First off, there´s no thing such as a bad omega; your gender role doesn´t define you. Second, you do look out for me, in more ways than physical. You are a good person, Hyuck. You are worthy of respect, admiration, love and _time_. If you´re not ready for this, I´ll wait for you as long as long as it takes – or even if it never happens. I´m here for you, not for your body.”

“But my body is still a nice factor,” Donghyuck jokes, trying to ease some of the tension out. Mark chuckles.

“Yeah, I´d say your legs are pretty killer. And you´ve got an amazing face, too. And moles, I´m a sucker for those,” he says. Donghyuck smiles at the praise. But that ugly feeling won´t go away from his chest yet.

“I can´t give you what you want,” he ends up saying.

“I want you to be happy.”

“You´re such a corny dork,” Donghyuck answers, his eyes filling with happy tears. He is really so enchanted by Mark. He feels so content and safe in his arms. If only his wolf could understand that.

“I´m just saying the truth,” Mark answers with a pretty smile. “Want some hot chocolate?”

“You always know how to make me feel better,” Donghyuck says. His heart starts beating with so much feeling for this alpha idiot, who is one of the best people he´s ever met.

“How about I help you dress up, and then you help me with the hot chocolate? Cause we both know I´m a menace in the kitchen,” Marks says. Donghyuck lets out a sincere laugh. Mark looks relieved at his response.

“As long as I can wear your clothes,” the omega answers. Mark´s face goes red. They have started to share clothes more often, but it still affects the alpha. He gets an idiotic happy smile on his lips whenever he sees the younger boy wearing his clothes, his scent.

“Yeah, okay.” He takes a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie form his closet. Then, he carefully helps the omega dress up. Then he follows him to the kitchen.

Donghyuck sets in doing hot chocolate for both of them. He looks for the ingredients in Mark´s little kitchen. As soon as he finds them, he shoves them into a pot. He starts stirring the pot slowly. That´s when he feels Mark´s arm go around his waist: he feels the alpha lay down his chin on the younger´s shoulder.

“Hi,” Donghyuck says dumbly.

“Hey,” Mark answers with a smile.

“I´m sorry I couldn´t help you with your horniness problem,” the omega says. Mark keeps smiling at him.

“It´s okay, you´re more important,” he says truthfully. Donghyuck blushes at the sincerity in his voice. Mark can probably feel the omega´s heart beating inside his chest.

This time, there´s no going around it. Donghyuck is sure. He is in love with Mark. _Donghyuck loves Mark_. And he´ll tell him. Soon.

***

They are studying together at the library. Well, Donghyuck is pretending to study while Mark does study. But, in his defense, Donghyuck works better under pressure. Besides, the omega trusts his future self to solve the mess he´s done with his studies. Exams seem like a very Future-Donghyuck-problem.

And, it is not his fault he got distracted. First off, he stayed up late last night playing videogames. So, he is really fucking tired this morning. Then, he´d only had a cookie for breakfast (cause he woke up late). Then, Mark had the courage to sit beside him, instead of sitting on the other side of the table, which means that the alpha´s hand is laying on Donghyuck´s knee. All in all, Donghyuck is very tired, very hungry and very distracted. So, no studying for Donghyuck today.

Instead of stressing over all that college-related shit, Donghyuck settles for staring at his boyfriend, who happens to have an amazing face. Mark´s jaw is sharp, his cheekbones high. Like, his bone structure is crazy good and sexy as hell. Yet, his pink lips and doe eyes make his face seem so cute. And his moles, his moles are just adorable. Just looking at Mark makes Donghyuck´s heart go crazy. Additional to that, the older takes the liberty of doing cute expressions when studying; his eyebrows furrow and he lets out faint noises when he´s confused, he bites down on his lower lip when he´s concentrating, he scrunches up his nose when he´s trying to understand something. And Mark Lee needs to stop attacking people with his existence.

Mark is currently looking like a mess. He´s wearing an oversized gray hoodie, his hair looks like it went through a tornado, and his round specs are hanging on the tip of his nose. But he´s still hot, and cute, and Donghyuck wants to cover him in kisses and love. Maybe he should.

“Hey, Mark?” he says softly.

“Yeah?” the other boy answers without looking up from his book. When he doesn't get a reply, he turns to look at Donghyuck. “Enjoying the view?” he asks with a smirk, sounding all cocky. Donghyuck doesn´t let that deter him.

“I love you,” the omega says with conviction. Mark blinks slowly and his mouth falls open. He starts gaping like a fish, like he wants to say something but the words won´t come out. Donghyuck giggles at his boyfriend´s cute response to his confession. The omega brings his hand up to push Mark´s specs back on his nose. “Why do you look so surprised? You had it coming for a long time.”

“C-Can you say that again?” Mark stutters out. Donghyuck smiles devilishly.

“What? That you had it coming for a long time?” he teases.

“Hyuck! The other thing!” Mark screeches and he squeezes Donghyuck´s thigh with his hand. A blush starts creeping up his face. Donghyuck bites down the smile on his lips.

“I don´t understand, use your words, hon,” the omega keeps teasing. Mark gets redder.

“Can you please say it again, Hyuck? I wanna make sure I´m not imagining stuff,” the alpha pleads. And Donghyuck feels so endeared, so happy – so _in love_ – that he caves in.

“I love you, Mark Lee,” he says with a bright smile. And Mark smiles back with the most beautiful smile humanity´s ever seen.

“I love you too,” he answers. Then, he runs a hand through his black hair. “God, I thought you would never…”

“I don´t know why I didn´t tell you before, but I think I´ve loved you for a while now,” Donghyuck says. “I´m glad that you know it now, too.”

“God, I love you so much,” Mark lets out. And he dives in for a kiss. And Donghyuck kisses him senseless, transmitting all his joy and love with his mouth.

Studying can wait for later.

***

When they finally have sex, it is not a simple affair. It is not just about making love; it is about renewing trust and respect. It is about the truthfulness of their feelings. It is about Mark and Donghyuck, walking through the world _together_ , despite everything.

They melt into it, slowly, passionately. Together and equal through every step of the way. In love with every single quality and flaw in each other.

They kiss, unhurriedly and softly. When Donghyuck licks Mark´s lower lip, the alpha opens his mouth without a second thought. Their tongues explore each other´s mouths like they have all the time in the world. And Mark´s lips are warm and oh so soft on Donghyuck´s.

They make out on the couch for who knows how long, their tops already discarded. Donghyuck is sitting on Mark´s lap, his long legs straddling the older boy. His hands run through Mark´s dark hair, alternating between carding his fingers through the strands and pulling on them. And Mark holds Donghyuck against himself. His hands roam the younger´s torso and thighs, making the omega feel hot all over.

But this time, there is no panic. When Mark touches him, Donghyuck feels safe. He feels cherished and cared for. He feels loved in a way he´d never experienced before. And Donghyuck´s inner omega has come to understand that Mark is not a threat – he is his ally, his friend, his lover, his beloved, _his alpha_.

Mark presses his face to Donghyuck´s neck. Then, he starts kissing, and licking and sucking and Donghyuck can´t stop the sounds coming out of his mouth. He likes when the alpha marks him up, when he covers him in his scent. It makes him feel protected, important.

“You smell so good, Hyuck,” Mark groans into the omega´s neck. Donghyuck lets a chocked giggle out between moans. He pulls at the alpha´s hair, successfully pulling him away from his neck.

“Maybe you should let me cover you up in my scent, if you like it so much,” he says in a sweet voice.

“I´d like that,” Mark pants, lust clear in his eyes. Donghyuck gets to work. First, he mouths at Mark´s Adam´s apple, knowing the boy has a sensitive spot there. The omega takes the soft skin between his teeth and gnaws at it. Donghyuck can feel more than hear Mark´s moan. And Donghyuck beams. The alpha likes being marked up as much as the omega does. And Donghyuck loves leaving Mark´s beautiful skin covered in hickeys. He loves smelling their interlaced scents of cedar and lavender in the air.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“Can we?” Donghyuck asks. His voice is full of desire, yearning and love. So much love for the boy in his arms.

“Guess my answer,” Mark replies with a soft smile.

“You´re in if I´m in?” Donghyuck says with a shit-eating grin.

“I´m in if you´re in,” Mark repeats with a blinding smile of his own.

“Good,” the omega says. “Will you carry me over to the bed, oh my strong alpha?” he jokes. The older boy huffs and picks him up. Donghyuck lets out an undignified screech at the sudden movement.

Mark lays Donghyuck down on his bed. Slowly, gently. And Donghyuck lets himself fall down on the pillows and spread his legs for the alpha. Mark takes in a stuttering breath at the sight. Donghyuck bites his lower lip, trying to suppress a smile. The scent of his slick has probably taken the alpha by surprise. Besides, he knows he probably looks like a sexy wreck with his neck and shoulders covered in love bites, his hair a tangled brown mess, his lips kiss-swollen and his gaze so soft and in love. And by the way Mark looks at him, Donghyuck can tell that he loves the sight. The omega preens under the attention.

“Are you gonna do something, or just keep looking, dork?” he teases the older. Mark snaps out of his reverie, blinking and shaking his head. Donghyuck thinks it´s cute. That is, until Mark crawls between his legs and lowers his powerful yet lean body on top of the omega´s. He checks not to crush the younger´s body with own, but still makes sure that Donghyuck feels him close to him.

“I´m gonna worship you and love you and take care of you like you deserve, Hyuck,” he whispers, his lips ghosting over the shell of Donghyuck´s ear. The younger shudders in pleasure.

And Mark is a man of his word. He kisses every single mole on Donghyuck´s body. He caresses Donghyuck as though he´s made of glass. He swallows Donghyuck´s moans when he touches him. He whispers compliments and praises as he works the omega open with ever so careful fingers.

Mark slides three fingers inside Donghyuck, making the younger´s breath stutter. It doesn´t take long for the alpha to find the omega´s sweet spot. He curls his fingers in a way that he hits Donghyuck´s prostate with every thrust. Donghyuck moans and whines prettily under him, arching under his touch. And Mark keeps a close look at Donghyuck the whole time, making sure he enjoys it, and feeling himself burn with arousal at the sight of the omega.

“You´re so beautiful and strong, so good, Hyuck,” Mark murmurs in his ear, his voice deep and gruff. The omega lets out a soft sound at the praise.

Mark´s weight on top of him doesn't feel like a cage or a restraint or a burden. It feels reassuring and warm. Donghyuck doesn't feel helpless or powerless when he´s lying under Mark. He doesn´t feel used or unworthy. He feels treasured, appreciated. He feels protected, loved.

And Donghyuck loves this, loves _Mark_. He can´t wait any longer. 

“Mark,” he pants out. “I´m ready, please just – I wanna feel you,” he whines.

“Are you sure, sunshine?”

“Yes.”

Mark lays a tender kiss on Donghyuck´s forehead. He covers his length with Donghyuck´s slick. Then he aligns himself to Donghyuck´s entrance and slides in gradually. Donghyuck feels the stretch, but the pain is bearable – even good. Mark waits for his verbal confirmation before doing anything, though.

“You can move,” the omega says. He takes the alpha´s face in his hands and kisses him deeply. Mark takes one of the omega´s hands in his and laces their fingers together.

“Can I love you now?” Mark asks in a low whisper. His voice makes Donghyuck´s body tingle with excitement and his heart swell with affection.

“Only if you let me love you too,” he answers with the happiest smile etched on his face. They both giggle happily.

And Mark moves. He thrusts out and back in slowly, carefully, watching Donghyuck´s expression through every second of it. Once again, Mark makes sure to find that bundle of nerves inside Donghyuck. And when he does, Donghyuck moans so loud and clenches so tight around him, Mark can´t help moaning in unison with him.

They move together, hearts beating as one. There is no need for them to go fast and rushed. No need to be rough. They can try that some other time. Right now, it is all about showing each other how deeply in love they are. How much they care. How much they trust.

They drag it out and it so good for both of them. The slow movements taking them to the edge of pleasure.

When Mark is close, he buries his face in Donghyuck´s neck. He takes in a deep breath of that lavender scent he loves so much and licks along Donghyuck´s neck. The omega whines at the action, clawing at Mark´s back in pleasure.

“I´m close, Hyuck,” the alpha pants into the younger´s neck. Donghyuck cards a hand through Mark´s sweaty hair and curls up into him.

“Come in me, I wanna smell like you for days,” he breathes out. Mark groans at the words.

Soon enough, he feels the omega clench around him. And Mark comes so hard he lets out a snarl. And Donghyuck comes at the feeling of Mark´s cock pulsing inside him. Rows of white cover their stomachs. The alpha keeps thrusting in unhurriedly, riding out their orgasms until the omega whines from oversensitivity.

Mark stops and slides out. The younger boy lets out a small whimper at the action. Mark takes his face between his long hands. Donghyuck looks int his eyes lovingly. And Mark returns the omega´s gaze. He leans down into a long, languid kiss.

“Let´s clean up,” Mark says as he pulls back. But Donghyuck puts his arms around the alpha´s neck and pulls him back on top of him. Mark has to place both of his hands beside Donghyuck´s head to make sure not to crush the boy with his weight.

“No,” Donghyuck whines. “Cuddle me first.”

“Can´t I cuddle you after? We´re all gross,” Mark argues. Donghyuck pouts.

“I´m demanding cuddles now,” he says petulantly. “Besides, this way your scent will remain for longer.” Mark blushes at the second statement.

“You´re so nasty,” the alpha complains. “But I still love you.”

“Good for you,” the omega replies in a teasing tone. Mark reacts by climbing out of bed before Donghyuck can stop him.

“Just for that, we´re gonna clean up now and get cuddles later,” he says. Donghyuck huffs, but lets himself be pampered by the alpha, who cleans his body with extreme care.

When Mark is done, he comes back to lie down with Donghyuck. He puts an arm around the boy´s shoulders. Donghyuck buries his face in the alpha´s chest.

“I love you, Mark,” he says, looking up to the alpha. And Mark´s smile when he says those words is the best sight Donghyuck´s ever seen. It makes him happy. Mark makes him happy.

“I love you too, Hyuck,” the alpha answers. Donghyuck can hear the sincerity in his voice and the fast beating of his heart.

Donghyuck doesn´t hate alphas. He just doesn’t trust them. But Mark, this one alpha, has gained way more than Donghyuck´s blind trust. He has shown the omega that he can love an alpha, and be okay. Because Donghyuck loves Mark, and he is loved in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It´s done! I had fun writing this, and I hope you liked the characters as much as I did. Sorry for the extremely corny stuff, I couldn´t help myself.
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


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